Let me just say this—dating in this day and age? Whew. It's a whole different game. Back in the day, dating was about meeting someone, talking, getting to know them, maybe going for dinner or a movie. Now? We’ve got apps, DMs, algorithms picking out who’s compatible with you. It’s like a job interview on steroids, and you have to do it with a profile picture and a bio that’s, what? Two sentences long? Please. You know I need more than that!
But here’s the thing. No matter how many apps there are, no matter how complicated or intimidating dating feels right now, the basics still matter. You’ve got to know yourself, respect yourself, and walk into every situation owning exactly who you are. Because the real deal is, if you’re pretending to be someone else, you’re gonna attract people who aren’t meant for the real you. And that’s where the drama starts. Don’t fake it—be authentic.
Tip number one: You’ve got to love yourself first. I’m serious. If you’re out here dating, trying to find someone to complete you, honey, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You don’t need someone to complete you, you need someone to complement you. You are already whole. You are a full, beautiful person—just as you are. If you’re not sure about that, how are you going to convince someone else to see it? Start there. The love you have for yourself is the foundation for every healthy relationship. If you aren’t loving yourself, you’re going to let people treat you any kind of way, and that’s a setup for heartbreak. You deserve better than that.
Tip number two: Be intentional. Listen, don’t go into dating thinking, “Let’s see what happens.” No. You’ve got to be clear about what you want, who you are, and what you won’t tolerate. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, say it. If you just want to meet people and see where things go, be honest about that too. But don’t waste your time or anyone else’s pretending you’re on the same page when you’re not. Set your boundaries, set your standards, and stick to them.
It’s too easy to get swept up in the excitement of someone new, the rush of attention, but that’s when you forget who you are. And honey, never forget who you are.
Tip number three: Communicate. Don’t play games. This isn’t high school. If you’re into someone, let them know. If you’re not feeling it? Be honest about that too. Ghosting is easy, but it’s also cowardly. We’ve got to learn how to have hard conversations again—because it’s a sign of maturity, and it shows you respect the other person enough to be real with them. If something isn’t working for you, say it. If you need more effort, say it. Communication is the glue that holds everything together.
Now, I know some of y’all might be thinking, “But CeeCee, nobody communicates like that anymore. People are out here playing games, and it’s exhausting.” And listen, I hear you. I hear you. But that’s why you’ve got to be the change. You set the tone for how people treat you. If they’re not willing to meet you at your level, if they’re playing games or acting like they don’t know how to be straight with you—cut them loose. Let them go. You don’t need that. You deserve someone who respects your time and your energy.
Tip number four: Don’t settle. Don’t you dare settle. Just because someone shows you a little bit of attention doesn’t mean you owe them anything. If they’re not giving you the love, respect, and effort you deserve, let them go. And I mean that. I don’t care if you’ve been single for a while, I don’t care if your friends are all paired up, I don’t care if your mama is asking you when you’re going to bring someone home. You. Do. Not. Settle.
Settling means choosing something that doesn’t align with who you are or what you truly want. And what’s the point of that? Life is too short to waste on people who don’t uplift you, who don’t make you feel like you can conquer the world. And let me tell you something, when you stand strong in your worth, the right person will see you. They’ll see all of you, and they’ll love every inch of who you are. But if you’re settling, you’re closing yourself off to that kind of love.
Finally: Take your time. Dating isn’t a race. It’s not about finding “the one” by a certain age, it’s about finding your person. Someone who meets you where you are, who is willing to grow with you. Don’t rush the process. Don’t let society, or family, or your own insecurities push you into something you’re not ready for. Trust the journey. Trust yourself. And above all, remember that you’re worthy of the kind of love that elevates you.
Dating today may look different—it may feel chaotic and confusing at times—but the truth of the matter is, it’s always been about the same thing: connection. Real, deep, honest connection. And the only way to find that is by being real with yourself and the people you meet. Be you, unapologetically, and don’t you ever settle for less than you deserve. That’s how you win in this dating game.
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